| We all understand the significance of
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| | I was grateful that my beginner's depth
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| agility to grow a successful business.
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| | was limited to 45 feet, but swimming
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| But how agile are we really and how can
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| | along the side of the wall I was still
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| agility in our personal life help us grow
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| | clearly in another world, with nothing
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| in our business life?
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| | under my fins but darkness.
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| A near-drowning experience when I was a
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| | Soon I was keenly observing the sea life;
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| child left me wary of swimming and
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| | coral heads, bulbs, fans and thousands of
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| totally unwilling to go deeper than
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| | fish, all sizes and temperaments, from
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| snorkeling along the water's surface on a
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| | the diminutive clown fish bravely
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| trip to Fiji.
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| | defending his anemone home, to the shy
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| Before Tom and I went to Fiji, he had
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| | 35-pound sweetlips, who disappeared into
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| already been scuba diving many times
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| | his coral cavern at the first sight of
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| during the preceding five years. I'd
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| | us. My dive master floated serenely
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| heard his fun stories, but I knew he
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| | behind me, arms crossed, conserving
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| still occasionally experienced anxiety
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| | breath and energy. Only his fins were
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| due to a long-ago diving incident. Tom,
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| | moving, even when the menacing 10-foot
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| the daredevil, with all his diving
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| | reef sharks swam past us.
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| experience, having anxiety? That made it
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| | As my breathing became more relaxed and
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| even harder for me to decide to go for
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| | quiet, I began to hear the sounds of the
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| it. The only way I would venture out on
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| | sea life. Midway, Tom joined me, held my
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| the dive boat was with the promise to
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| | hand in celebration, and I lost all sense
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| myself that I could choose not to go into
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| | of time, depth - and my childhood fear.
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| the water.
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| | While I'll never be a fish in the water,
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| Upon arrival at the reef, the first thing
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| | I was now enjoying their world. Even
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| the dive master talked about was sharks.
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| | more, I was enjoying my newfound agility.
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| "This is their world. They're in control.
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| | Challenge a Fixed Viewpoint
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| Don't approach or move toward them.
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| | Where would I be if I hadn't challenged
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| Respect them. Respect their space."
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| | my fear of water? Probably where I am
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| Actually, sharks didn't scare me at all.
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| | now, but with less confidence. I believe
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| I was too afraid of the water to worry
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| | the happiest people are those who are
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| about sharks. First I had to get into the
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| | always growing and stretching. The only
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| water. Then I'd think about sharks.
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| | way to grow is to question, challenge,
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| Several years earlier on Maui I had tried
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| | probe for new answers and be agile enough
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| to learn to dive. On that first attempt
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| | to try new things.
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| Tom, my 14-year-old nephew Matt and I
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| | In a career, you grow or you die
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| started our lessons in the pool. As soon
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| | professionally. Most of us are willing to
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| as the water closed over my face mask and
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| | stretch when it comes to our careers.
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| I struggled with the weight of the tank
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| | It's expected. You strive for a bigger
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| and BCD vest that threatened to drown me,
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| | paycheck, a bigger promotion, more
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| I climbed out of the pool and didn't look
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| | influence or more power. Why don't we do
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| back. Within the safety of the shore, I
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| | the same in our personal lives? One
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| enjoyed a massage instead. While they
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| | always affects the other.
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| took to the ocean like fish, exploring
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| | In life, as in your career, when you
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| coral reefs, shipwrecks and the limitless
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| | neglect growth, the passion inside you
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| variety of sea life, I clung to my beach
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| | cools. Plan not only for a bigger house
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| chair with my self-help book.
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| | or an updated vehicle, but for inner
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| On later vacations Tom and I worked out a
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| | growth. Try to reinvent yourself on a
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| compromise. He would dive, then return to
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| | regular basis. You don't want to wake up
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| snorkel with me. Although not much of a
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| | five years from now and greet the same
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| swimmer, I was a great flailer. I
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| | person in the mirror. You want to see a
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| snorkeled in the shallows, where I could
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| | woman who has transcended her former
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| stand up when I tired from flailing or
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| | boundaries. Refusing to grow and stretch
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| needed to adjust my mask. Yoga practice
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| | keeps you locked in a box of your own
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| had prepared me for proper breathing and
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| | making, just as not taking that dive
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| body control, and over time my confidence
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| | might have kept me out of the deep
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| grew. So did the quality of my flailing.
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| | underwater world for the rest of my life.
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| To this day my nephew calls me shark
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| | We set up our own failure when we believe
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| bait.
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| | those insidious mantras, "I can't...I
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| Back to Fiji: I watched a young girl with
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| | don't...I wasn't trained for that."
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| a mental disability go out doggedly every
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| | A woman in one of our seminars who was
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| day learning to dive, while I stayed
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| | struggling with the fast-paced training
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| safely on the surface, afraid to leave my
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| | became upset because she couldn't record
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| shallow comfort zone for the deeper
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| | the program. I offered to let her leave
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| unknown. I wondered who had the greater
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| | the seminar that day and take with her
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| disability, she or I. Hers was real, mine
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| | the DVD program to study at home at her
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| only imagined. Who was more agile?
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| | own pace.
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| Every afternoon, Tom regaled me with
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| | She refused the offer. Instead, she sat
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| stories of turtles, lionfish, hammerhead
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| | on the front row the entire six days
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| sharks and the vibrant coral he saw on
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| | talking to herself, escalating her
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| his dives while I continued flailing
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| | frustration and not listening to a word
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| about in the shallows. But each day I
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| | of the seminar. At the end of the
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| snorkeled into deeper and deeper water
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| | program, she was one of only a few women
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| until finally, on day four of my
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| | who failed the certification examination.
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| vacation, I built up the confidence to
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| | Ninety-five percent of the class passed.
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| approach the edge of a 300-foot wall.
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| | She had sabotaged herself by self-talk.
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| Looking into its depths I was suddenly no
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| | Perceiving her condition to be less than
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| longer content to observe from the
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| | perfect, she created, then reinforced,
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| surface. My curiosity engaged, I longed
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| | those perceived conditions. Even if the
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| to dive deep and envelope myself in the
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| | class seemed overwhelming, she could have
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| dark wonders below. I resolved to try
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| | dramatically improved her experience by
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| diving again.
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| | challenging her fixed viewpoint.
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| My first dive was in a shallow bay. I
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| | That's not to say we should shut our eyes
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| clung to the bottom, pulling up sand and
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| | to problems. Agility comes in recognizing
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| sea grass at 15 feet down. Easy. Being
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| | what's not working and fixing it. But
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| close to the bottom gave me security and
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| | there's a difference between complaining
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| perspective, and the small success
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| | or stirring up unrest and pointing out a
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| encouraged me to go for more.
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| | situation that needs to be changed. When
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| On the second dive I dove longer and
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| | employees come to me with a complaint, I
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| deeper to 25 feet. On my third dive, we
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| | say, "Don't criticize - strategize and
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| boated to a sandy ledge that led to the
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| | offer an alternative." I don't expect the
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| 300-foot wall I was ready to explore. The
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| | perfect solution, but I do expect a
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| boat rocked on five-foot swells. Tom and
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| | suggestion.
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| the dive master rolled off the side of
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| | I didn't always own a sizeable company. I
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| the boat backwards - the standard diver's
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| | grew up selling Avon, working at Burger
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| show-off entry. When the dive master
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| | King and then working as a nurse. Owning
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| instructed me to do the same, I said, "No
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| | a growing company constantly challenges
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| way!" and headed down the narrow
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| | my viewpoints and has taught me this
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| stepladder designed for deck shoes, not
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| | attitude: "Wherever you are, make the
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| fins. No easy feat. Tom said it was
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| | most of it by questioning, probing and
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| typical of me to take the hard way down.
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| | challenging fixed viewpoints." Add a
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| Stepping from the ladder, I slid beneath
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| | sense of wonder and curiosity. The more
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| the surface.
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| | you open up to the amazing world around
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| After the initial roller coaster ride
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| | you, the more agility you will have.
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| associated with equalizing my ears and my
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| | I could easily have enjoyed Fiji without
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| anxiety, we swam along the shallow bottom
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| | flexing my agility beyond snorkeling, but
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| to the precipice and slowly dropped into
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| | after I challenged my viewpoint, Fiji
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| the 300-foot abyss. Surprisingly, the
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| | became an unforgettable, life-changing
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| stability and quiet of being underwater
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| | experience. Inside every woman is the
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| was a wonderful respite from the swells
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| | agility to be anything she wants to be
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| that bounced the boat on the surface.
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| | and to do everything her passionate
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| Anyway, it does no good to scream
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| | vision demands.
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| underwater.
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|
